But just got back in the Country.
Not only am I tired, but I have 200+ pictures to sort through.
But the blog does still exist...
~Bouier
>P.S. I'm working on a photography book.
Monday
Friday
Forget me not...
I have a problem forgetting people; which, to most, wouldn't translate to be a problem.
Think about it this way. Everyday, you go get gas, or go to CVS, or Blockbuster, etc. While there, you meet someone. They help you, you walk out. Within 20 minutes you forget them, that they ever existed and that the two of you ever met. With those who have some "significance" in our lives, the process becomes more difficult. We throw out the letters, remove the photos, etc. But for some reason, we find forgetting to be the most difficult thing ever. We want to forget, we pray to forget, but no matter how hard we try...the memories dominate the fight.
No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone that you can't forget. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? What if you desperately want to forget about the person? More so, what if it is a number of people.
This seems to be the case for me. There are a few people, that like it or not, have had an impact in my life. Focusing upon the positive, if I do like it...it just creates unnecessary nostalgia. Will I see this person again? Do they remember me? Etc
A specific example that I can draw upon is my 5th Grade teacher, Mrs. Pilon.
(Sidebar, in no way am I saying that none of the other people who have left an impact on my life aren't important. This is just an example, and possibly the first one that came to mind.)
Mrs. Pilon was my 5th Grade teacher...to this day I remember how she looks, her voice, her idiosyncrasies, and most importantly the impact she had on my life. For the majority of my formative years, I was in the Catholic school system. And anyone who knows that system, knows that they don't really like double promoting kids...especially the ones they consider to be bad. Unfortunately, I was one of those kids. Mrs. Pilon noticed that I was a bit, bored, by class. So she suggested that I should be double promoted. As you can presume, this didn't go over well with the Head Nun at my school. But through continual pushing, she somehow convinced her to consider it...after I took an IQ test of course. Now, I could go into the details...but to spare you the time, I'll just say I passed...with flying colors. Still not enough to convince the Head Nun, I was forced to take it again...this time scoring higher. This allowed for me to be double promoted in the middle of the year, and could've actually been promoted to the 7th instead of the 6th. (My Mother and Mrs. Pilon would opt against this however, due to my age and the formidable learning curve that I would have to face missing half a year of the 7th grade and completely skipping the 6th.)
Now, I don't know what Mrs. Pilon is doing these days. To be honest I haven't seen her in years. After I finished the 6th Grade, I transferred schools. When I came back to try to catch up with her, I find out that she left. I left out a small portion of the story you see, Mrs. Pilon could never have a child. Her husband and her tried a number of times, but never could bear. Come to find out, the reason she left was because she had recently given birth and wanted to stay home with the newborn child.
I wonder if Mrs. Pilon ever wonders what I'm doing? If I'm still alive? If I graduated from HS? College? What am I doing now? Dreams? If I still remember her?
Little do we realize it, everyday that we're alive we have the ability to make a positive or negative long-lasting effect on someone's life. Someone will not forget you...whether you know it or not.
Mrs. Pilon...
~Bouier
Think about it this way. Everyday, you go get gas, or go to CVS, or Blockbuster, etc. While there, you meet someone. They help you, you walk out. Within 20 minutes you forget them, that they ever existed and that the two of you ever met. With those who have some "significance" in our lives, the process becomes more difficult. We throw out the letters, remove the photos, etc. But for some reason, we find forgetting to be the most difficult thing ever. We want to forget, we pray to forget, but no matter how hard we try...the memories dominate the fight.
No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone that you can't forget. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? What if you desperately want to forget about the person? More so, what if it is a number of people.
This seems to be the case for me. There are a few people, that like it or not, have had an impact in my life. Focusing upon the positive, if I do like it...it just creates unnecessary nostalgia. Will I see this person again? Do they remember me? Etc
A specific example that I can draw upon is my 5th Grade teacher, Mrs. Pilon.
(Sidebar, in no way am I saying that none of the other people who have left an impact on my life aren't important. This is just an example, and possibly the first one that came to mind.)
Mrs. Pilon was my 5th Grade teacher...to this day I remember how she looks, her voice, her idiosyncrasies, and most importantly the impact she had on my life. For the majority of my formative years, I was in the Catholic school system. And anyone who knows that system, knows that they don't really like double promoting kids...especially the ones they consider to be bad. Unfortunately, I was one of those kids. Mrs. Pilon noticed that I was a bit, bored, by class. So she suggested that I should be double promoted. As you can presume, this didn't go over well with the Head Nun at my school. But through continual pushing, she somehow convinced her to consider it...after I took an IQ test of course. Now, I could go into the details...but to spare you the time, I'll just say I passed...with flying colors. Still not enough to convince the Head Nun, I was forced to take it again...this time scoring higher. This allowed for me to be double promoted in the middle of the year, and could've actually been promoted to the 7th instead of the 6th. (My Mother and Mrs. Pilon would opt against this however, due to my age and the formidable learning curve that I would have to face missing half a year of the 7th grade and completely skipping the 6th.)
Now, I don't know what Mrs. Pilon is doing these days. To be honest I haven't seen her in years. After I finished the 6th Grade, I transferred schools. When I came back to try to catch up with her, I find out that she left. I left out a small portion of the story you see, Mrs. Pilon could never have a child. Her husband and her tried a number of times, but never could bear. Come to find out, the reason she left was because she had recently given birth and wanted to stay home with the newborn child.
I wonder if Mrs. Pilon ever wonders what I'm doing? If I'm still alive? If I graduated from HS? College? What am I doing now? Dreams? If I still remember her?
Little do we realize it, everyday that we're alive we have the ability to make a positive or negative long-lasting effect on someone's life. Someone will not forget you...whether you know it or not.
Mrs. Pilon...
~Bouier
Wednesday
What I'm Listening To...06/10/09
For those who know me, they know that I have a more than eclectic taste in music. So I decided to share a few of the joints that I'm checking out as of recent with you.
Mos Def - The Ecstatic
Current Fave Tracks: Quiet Dog Bite Hard, Casa Bey, No Hay Nada Mas, Pistola, Auditorium ft. Slick Rick
The Yoshida Brothers - III
Current Fave Tracks: Cherry Blossoms in Winter, Morricone
Lenny Kravitz - 5
Current Fave Tracks: Thinking of You, I Belong To You
Polyphonic Spree - Together We're Heavy
Current Fave Tracks: Section 12 (Hold Me Now), Section 18 (Everything Starts at the Seam)
Foreign Exchange - Leave it All Behind
Current Fave Tracks: If She Breaks Your Heart, Valediction, Sweeter Than You, Daykeeper, Take Off The Blues
Nujabes - Modal Soul
Current Fave Tracks: World's End Rhapsody, Modal Soul, Music is Mine, Horizon
Enjoy,
~Bouier
Mos Def - The Ecstatic
Current Fave Tracks: Quiet Dog Bite Hard, Casa Bey, No Hay Nada Mas, Pistola, Auditorium ft. Slick Rick
The Yoshida Brothers - III
Current Fave Tracks: Cherry Blossoms in Winter, Morricone
Lenny Kravitz - 5
Current Fave Tracks: Thinking of You, I Belong To You
Polyphonic Spree - Together We're Heavy
Current Fave Tracks: Section 12 (Hold Me Now), Section 18 (Everything Starts at the Seam)
Foreign Exchange - Leave it All Behind
Current Fave Tracks: If She Breaks Your Heart, Valediction, Sweeter Than You, Daykeeper, Take Off The Blues
Nujabes - Modal Soul
Current Fave Tracks: World's End Rhapsody, Modal Soul, Music is Mine, Horizon
Enjoy,
~Bouier
Pay for your Passion, don't Prostitute it.
My Mother is a beacon of wisdom. Even when she isn't trying to hit me off with a little bit of knowledge, she always does. I don't understand how she does it, but she does. I am, however, eternally grateful that I have her as my Mother.
Quite some time ago, when I was in my largest down slump that I can remember...and trust, there have been a few; my Mother told me two things that I feel I need to share with everyone. The first was, that no matter who you are, what you do, or how much you love what you do; you will have to Pay for your Passion.
Let's elaborate a bit upon that concept. Pay for your Passion. Not fiscally, although at times you may have to, but emotionally and paying with your time. Nothing that you want is going to fall on your lap, especially if you are passionate about it. Our generation has this misconception that we will be one of these billionaires by the time we're 25, 28 at the latest. This is partly due to the fact that all of the people that we follow or enjoy watching/listening to LOOK young. The actual fact is, the ones that we try to mold our business lives after (The Bransons, the Combs, the Carters, the Gates, etc.), didn't enjoy the comfort and spoils of their labor until they were at least in their 30s. If you are truly passionate about something, you will have to prove it. Day in and Day out. You will pay for it, consistently.
Also some time ago, my Mother noticed that I wasn't enjoying the things that I once did. I fell into a slump of repetition. She told me, it seemed as if I was Prostituting my Passion.
Now, with that being said...let's discuss prostituting your passion. This is a phrase, that to me, defines what I see a lot. People who say they are passionate about something, but they take on any and every job in an effort to garner some form of "acceptance" (whether it be monetary or otherwise) to "pursue their passion." They overwork themselves, so much so, that they don't even enjoy what they were once passionate about anymore. It becomes an exercise, where they feel that quantity defines quality. More so, they don't take the time to learn and appreciate their craft; hence, regurgitating the same project over and over, falling into a slump of mediocrity never to be seen again. If you constantly exercise with the same weight, doing the same number of reps, for the same time duration...well, the muscle never grows. It never strengthens. It plateaus. Whatever you PASSIONATELY do, do it better the next time. Study your past work, and be willing to accept what was poor about it. Grow from it, learn from it, become better. Don't become a passion prostitute.
I swear, my Mother is a genius.
~Bouier
>P.S. I apologize for the lack of cohesive structure...
Quite some time ago, when I was in my largest down slump that I can remember...and trust, there have been a few; my Mother told me two things that I feel I need to share with everyone. The first was, that no matter who you are, what you do, or how much you love what you do; you will have to Pay for your Passion.
Let's elaborate a bit upon that concept. Pay for your Passion. Not fiscally, although at times you may have to, but emotionally and paying with your time. Nothing that you want is going to fall on your lap, especially if you are passionate about it. Our generation has this misconception that we will be one of these billionaires by the time we're 25, 28 at the latest. This is partly due to the fact that all of the people that we follow or enjoy watching/listening to LOOK young. The actual fact is, the ones that we try to mold our business lives after (The Bransons, the Combs, the Carters, the Gates, etc.), didn't enjoy the comfort and spoils of their labor until they were at least in their 30s. If you are truly passionate about something, you will have to prove it. Day in and Day out. You will pay for it, consistently.
Also some time ago, my Mother noticed that I wasn't enjoying the things that I once did. I fell into a slump of repetition. She told me, it seemed as if I was Prostituting my Passion.
Now, with that being said...let's discuss prostituting your passion. This is a phrase, that to me, defines what I see a lot. People who say they are passionate about something, but they take on any and every job in an effort to garner some form of "acceptance" (whether it be monetary or otherwise) to "pursue their passion." They overwork themselves, so much so, that they don't even enjoy what they were once passionate about anymore. It becomes an exercise, where they feel that quantity defines quality. More so, they don't take the time to learn and appreciate their craft; hence, regurgitating the same project over and over, falling into a slump of mediocrity never to be seen again. If you constantly exercise with the same weight, doing the same number of reps, for the same time duration...well, the muscle never grows. It never strengthens. It plateaus. Whatever you PASSIONATELY do, do it better the next time. Study your past work, and be willing to accept what was poor about it. Grow from it, learn from it, become better. Don't become a passion prostitute.
I swear, my Mother is a genius.
~Bouier
>P.S. I apologize for the lack of cohesive structure...
Tuesday
Rejected Four Times
One thing I wish everyone would've told me upon graduation is that nothing is easy. Or did they tell me that? Ok...well, something I wish that they would've told me that I KNOW they never did, is that its OK to fail.
Think about this. Our whole life we're groomed to never fail. You go to school to pass and to graduate. You learn to play sports, and though we say its about how you play the game its truly about winning [majority of the time]. You get a good job, to make good money, and raise a good family and not get fired [hence, never failing]. Wash, rinse, repeat. Etc, etc, etc. But never once are we told, its OK to fail. Just be you, sometimes we're meant to mess up. Be human. And if we are told, then it is rare. Few and far in between. Well, this is what leads me to my next post/topic...Rejected Four Times.
Now, we all know that Graduate School is uber-competitive. But I honestly don't think we really grasp how competitive it really is. I'll use my case as an example.
I'm headed to Grad School in the Fall for Film, Alhumdillah [Not a Muslim, just love that phrase. Its such a poetic way to say Thank You Lord. Don't you agree?]. This is my second year applying, and Lord knows it was an arduous two year application process. Not only have I spent Hundreds upon Hundreds of All American Dollars just to APPLY, (All of my application fees were $50+, not including cost of mailing, cost to print off various documents/photos, and time spent typing and proof reading aforementioned documents and photographs) but I've gone through rejection, depression, and every other emotion in between.
I wish someone would've told me that I would go so deep into my pockets, both fiscally and emotionally.
Next, in the two years that I spent applying little did I know that I would be faced with insurmountable odds. Like, oh, say the fact that most graduate schools get hundreds upon thousands of applicants...then only accept close to 30-50 (depending on the program, mine accepting between 12...yes, 12....and 30). More so, not all of the applicants applying are from the USA. Now I have to compete with International Applicants...and they're just as every bit talent as me...if not more.
I wish someone would've told me that I'd be one out of millions. That I am much smaller than I think I am.
Subsequently, no one told me that I would get rejected SO MANY TIMES! Not only did I apply to some programs more than once, but I've been concurrently rejected by the same programs...more than once. (NYU Tisch: New York Campus - Twice, NYU Tisch: Singapore Campus - Once, Columbia University - Once, Emerson University - Wait List) Only, to be accepted two times...
I wish someone would've told me that I was going to get rejected...everyone does at least once. It is a part of the process.
After all of this is said and done, finally I was accepted into one of my top three Graduate Programs...Only to find out that I need to find a way to pay for school. I could very much mooch off of my old man, but I'd rather not if there are other ways to pay for school. Not to mention, still balancing the other cost/expenses of life.
I wish someone would've told me that life after College would be so expensive.
I say all of this to say, DO NOT be discouraged...this specifically goes out to anyone who may read this that is still in School, applying for Graduate School, out in the Work Force, taking that infamous "year off," etc. Take it from someone who has been there and had to take, what I felt, was the longest year of my life to get prepared and accepted. Its OK, to fail.
Here are some other things that people neglect to tell us my fellow Quarter-Lifers...the average Graduate Student is 25+, the Average College Student spends 4+ years in Undergrad, the Average person doesn't start in their ideal position of employment...they have to move up the ladder dealing with what they consider "menial" work that is below them, the Average Career requires A College Degree PLUS 1-2 years of Work Experience, the People we see on TV who are doing well for themselves (whether they be businessman/businesswoman, entertainer, etc.), is in their THIRTIES. Remember, you are above average, in so many other ways that I can possibly list. Please, please, please...do not be afraid to fail.
I wish someone would've told me that it is OK to fail.
~Bouier
Think about this. Our whole life we're groomed to never fail. You go to school to pass and to graduate. You learn to play sports, and though we say its about how you play the game its truly about winning [majority of the time]. You get a good job, to make good money, and raise a good family and not get fired [hence, never failing]. Wash, rinse, repeat. Etc, etc, etc. But never once are we told, its OK to fail. Just be you, sometimes we're meant to mess up. Be human. And if we are told, then it is rare. Few and far in between. Well, this is what leads me to my next post/topic...Rejected Four Times.
Now, we all know that Graduate School is uber-competitive. But I honestly don't think we really grasp how competitive it really is. I'll use my case as an example.
I'm headed to Grad School in the Fall for Film, Alhumdillah [Not a Muslim, just love that phrase. Its such a poetic way to say Thank You Lord. Don't you agree?]. This is my second year applying, and Lord knows it was an arduous two year application process. Not only have I spent Hundreds upon Hundreds of All American Dollars just to APPLY, (All of my application fees were $50+, not including cost of mailing, cost to print off various documents/photos, and time spent typing and proof reading aforementioned documents and photographs) but I've gone through rejection, depression, and every other emotion in between.
I wish someone would've told me that I would go so deep into my pockets, both fiscally and emotionally.
Next, in the two years that I spent applying little did I know that I would be faced with insurmountable odds. Like, oh, say the fact that most graduate schools get hundreds upon thousands of applicants...then only accept close to 30-50 (depending on the program, mine accepting between 12...yes, 12....and 30). More so, not all of the applicants applying are from the USA. Now I have to compete with International Applicants...and they're just as every bit talent as me...if not more.
I wish someone would've told me that I'd be one out of millions. That I am much smaller than I think I am.
Subsequently, no one told me that I would get rejected SO MANY TIMES! Not only did I apply to some programs more than once, but I've been concurrently rejected by the same programs...more than once. (NYU Tisch: New York Campus - Twice, NYU Tisch: Singapore Campus - Once, Columbia University - Once, Emerson University - Wait List) Only, to be accepted two times...
I wish someone would've told me that I was going to get rejected...everyone does at least once. It is a part of the process.
After all of this is said and done, finally I was accepted into one of my top three Graduate Programs...Only to find out that I need to find a way to pay for school. I could very much mooch off of my old man, but I'd rather not if there are other ways to pay for school. Not to mention, still balancing the other cost/expenses of life.
I wish someone would've told me that life after College would be so expensive.
I say all of this to say, DO NOT be discouraged...this specifically goes out to anyone who may read this that is still in School, applying for Graduate School, out in the Work Force, taking that infamous "year off," etc. Take it from someone who has been there and had to take, what I felt, was the longest year of my life to get prepared and accepted. Its OK, to fail.
Here are some other things that people neglect to tell us my fellow Quarter-Lifers...the average Graduate Student is 25+, the Average College Student spends 4+ years in Undergrad, the Average person doesn't start in their ideal position of employment...they have to move up the ladder dealing with what they consider "menial" work that is below them, the Average Career requires A College Degree PLUS 1-2 years of Work Experience, the People we see on TV who are doing well for themselves (whether they be businessman/businesswoman, entertainer, etc.), is in their THIRTIES. Remember, you are above average, in so many other ways that I can possibly list. Please, please, please...do not be afraid to fail.
I wish someone would've told me that it is OK to fail.
~Bouier
What exactly is a Quarter-Life Crisis
Some of you may be wondering where in the Good Name of the Lord did I get the title for this blog from. Well, there is a thing called a Quarter-Life Crisis, that seems to be a new discussion point. Its similar to a mid-life crisis, but more for people in my age group (21-25, 26-30). Some of the symptoms are:
* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
* confusion of identity
* insecurity regarding the near future
* insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
* disappointment with one's job
* nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
* tendency to hold stronger opinions
* boredom with social interactions
* loss of closeness to high school and college friends
* financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
* loneliness
* desire to have children
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
Now, I think everyone in the aforementioned "age group" can relate to at least 2 of these symptoms. So, don't feel alone...I surely don't.
You still may be asking, why this name? Well, because this blog will chronicle my current life whilst going through said Quarter-Life Crisis. The moves, the travels, the life, etc. Just everything that I may be thinking, doing, etc. Or at least, the stuff that I care to share. All in an effort to cope and possibly understand things a little better.
A lot of my opinions can be abrasive, crazy, poorly thought out, funny, etc. But hey, its just my thoughts ladies and gents.
I promise, I'll TRY to keep it clean.
~Bouier
* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
* confusion of identity
* insecurity regarding the near future
* insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
* insecurity regarding present accomplishments
* re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
* disappointment with one's job
* nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
* tendency to hold stronger opinions
* boredom with social interactions
* loss of closeness to high school and college friends
* financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
* loneliness
* desire to have children
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
Now, I think everyone in the aforementioned "age group" can relate to at least 2 of these symptoms. So, don't feel alone...I surely don't.
You still may be asking, why this name? Well, because this blog will chronicle my current life whilst going through said Quarter-Life Crisis. The moves, the travels, the life, etc. Just everything that I may be thinking, doing, etc. Or at least, the stuff that I care to share. All in an effort to cope and possibly understand things a little better.
A lot of my opinions can be abrasive, crazy, poorly thought out, funny, etc. But hey, its just my thoughts ladies and gents.
I promise, I'll TRY to keep it clean.
~Bouier
Opening Post
I haven't kept up a personal blog for some time.
I have another couple of blogs that I keep up, but this one will be my sole opinion - which at times can be a bit skewed, a bit abrasive, a bit crazy; but my opinion none the less.
Feel free to read, feel free to enjoy, feel free to comment and return as necessary.
Peace,
~Bouier
I have another couple of blogs that I keep up, but this one will be my sole opinion - which at times can be a bit skewed, a bit abrasive, a bit crazy; but my opinion none the less.
Feel free to read, feel free to enjoy, feel free to comment and return as necessary.
Peace,
~Bouier
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